Authenticity - #6

Authenticity means just one thing, and it’s extremely simple:

Authenticity means not lying to ourselves.

Authenticity is the prerequisite for engaging in introspection and identifying “stories,” because if we lie to ourselves, we cannot even begin to engage in introspection.

For example, consider someone who is an alcoholic. To start a rehabilitation process, the first thing this person has to do is accept that he has a problem. If he says, “I’m not really an alcoholic. I can stop drinking anytime I want to,” then he cannot start the process of rehabilitation. He is lying to himself.

But if he says, “I really do have a problem with alcohol,” then he can start rehabilitation. He is not lying to himself.

It’s the same thing with obesity. If you do not accept that you have a weight problem, you are not going to start a diet. Before you can start a diet, you have to accept that you are overweight. You must not lie to yourself.

Lying prevents introspection. And without introspection, you cannot start identifying stories.

Through the work of introspection, we can uncover the contradictions that disprove unfounded stories.

Introspection is a process through which we can uncover contradictions and disprove unfounded stories. Again, the Santa Claus story is a strong example of a story filled with contradictions:

The story says he enters the house through the chimney, but not all houses have chimneys.

The story says he makes the toys at the North Pole, but the labels on the toys are in the language of the child who receives them.

The story says he visits all the children of the world in a single night, but such a trip is physically impossible.

When we stop lying to ourselves, we can engage in introspection. This allows us to identify the contradictions in our stories, and then dismantle our unfounded stories.

Emulation

To emulate means to imitate the actions of another. For example, if we wanted to be like Jesus, it would make no sense to ask, “What would Jesus have done?” since Jesus would never have asked himself what someone else would have done.

If we forced ourselves to do what an enlightened person would do, we would only be pretending to be enlightened.

The early days of the computer age featured machines such as the Amiga and the Commodore 64, machines that are no longer available. Yet today if you want to play a game written for those machines, you can–just not on the original machine. You use an “emulator” on your modern computer. An “emulator” makes one computer imitate the actions of another.

Emulation can work for learning to paint, or to exercise, or to do many other things, but it won’t work for enlightenment. For example, when faced with a choice, many people ask “What would Jesus do?”

But if you wanted to be like Jesus, it would make no sense to ask yourself what he would do, and then do the same.

That is because Jesus would never ask himself what someone else would do. He would only look inside himself to determine what to do.

So perhaps you say, “Then I will look inside myself to determine what to do,” but this won’t make you behave like Jesus, either, because what’s inside yourself is not the same as Jesus– because you are not Jesus.

Just like you cannot be like Jesus by pretending to be Jesus, you cannot become enlightened by pretending to be enlightened.

What makes an enlightened person enlightened is the fact that he has dismantled the stories. To become enlightened, you look inside yourself to identify those stories and dismantle them.

Emulating an enlightened person won’t bring you an inch closer to enlightenment. From the outside, it may look like enlightenment but it is only pretending.

I can pretend to be a monkey and make monkey sounds and eat bananas, but I’m still just a human pretending to be a monkey. I will never become a monkey just because I act like one.

In the same way, I cannot become enlightened by emulating an enlightened person. An enlightened person is enlightened not because he behaves a certain way, but because he has dismantled his unfounded stories.

Emulation can work pretty well for some things, such as to become a cook or a weightlifter. But emulation will not bring you closer to enlightenment.

We cannot, therefore, reach enlightenment by pretending to be already enlightened; we can only approach it by engaging in introspection, by progressively analyzing and dismantling unfounded stories.

You can “behave” as if you are enlightened as much as you want, but that’s not enlightenment.

If we believe we are already something (for example, enlightened, good, generous…), we cannot even start on the path to actually becoming those things. Because by being certain we already possess those qualities, we will never ask ourselves, “Why am I not generous?” “Why am I not good?” “Why am I not enlightened?” and so on.

Effort and Authenticity

When it comes to making an effort to do something, there are three possibilities:

Case 1:

A completely deluded person does not even realize that they do not want to do something, so they do it without effort. Being completely deluded, they cannot even see that they don’t want to do it, so they do it without making any effort.

This is probably very rare. Still, let’s consider an example. If you ask someone to sign over their house, they will almost certainly not do it. But if you ask someone who is highly intoxicated, he may do it–and do it without effort–because he does not understand what he is doing.

Case 2:

A moderately self-aware person realizes they do not want to do something, but because they tell themselves identity stories, they act against their will and end up forcing themselves.

Let’s say a friend wants me to lend him some money. I don’t want to do it. But because I tell myself that I’m a very generous person–I believe in this identity story about myself–I may force myself to lend him the money, even if I don’t want to. Maybe I don’t like him all that much, maybe I’m greedy, or maybe I can’t afford it. What matters is that the identity story that I cling to and defend is that I am generous, so I may very well lend him the money even if I don’t really want to.

My belief in my identity story led me to do so.

Case 3:

A highly self-aware person does not force themselves to act against their will, because they do not tell themselves identity stories.

Again, let’s say that a friend wants me to lend him some money. But in this case, I am not burdened by identity stories: I am not influenced by a story that I tell myself about my generosity, kindness, greed, or anything else.

Dismantling these stories means I am more self-aware than I was with the stories in place.

I can choose to give the money or not–without any influence from stories or beliefs.

Ego

Ego is what you believe you are. This is the result of stories about identity.

The main indicators that help us identify identity stories are:

#1: The Amount of Effort

The greater the effort to defend a story, the more likely it is that an identity story hides behind that effort.

We will expend great effort to defend the stories we believe about ourselves. The greater the effort we put into defending those stories, the more likely an identity story is behind it. We are defending something we want to be true.

A story is the only thing that can motivate someone to do what they don’t want to do. However, not all stories are wrong: some are true to our real desires—usually when the word “I want” is present—while others are not true to our real desires, usually when the word “should” appears.

When we say “I want” to do something, like “I want to climb Mt. Everest,” we only have to desire to reach the top–and to desire it more than our dislike for the effort of climbing.

When we say “I should” do something, it’s a different situation. The word “should” suggests that we believe we have to do something.

Why would we force ourselves to do something?

Because there is a story behind it.

And this story can be of two kinds.

If I say “I want” to lose weight and I do it, it’s because I want to lose weight more than I dislike the effort of missing out on ice cream. This story would be true to a real desire.

But if I say “I should” lose weight then there is a story that would not be true to a real desire. It will feel like an obligation.

Another criterion for identifying stories is the presence or absence of joy: if we do something that brings us no joy, there is very likely a story behind it. If I give something and it brings me joy, then there is no story. If, on the other hand, I give something only by forcing myself or against my will, it means there is a story behind it.

If something gives us joy, we will do it without any effort, so no story is needed.

But if it doesn’t bring us joy, in order to do it we have to tell ourselves a story to justify the effort.

When we talk about “effort,” we mean the effort involved in making a decision—the effort of convincing ourselves, which requires a story—and not the effort of carrying out the decision once it has been made. For example, wanting an ice cream requires no effort in itself, but I still have to make the effort to pay for it. In other words, wanting ice cream does not involve decision-making effort, but there may still be effort involved in carrying it out—and that kind of effort does not require a story.

#2: Comparisons

A hallmark of identity stories is the frequent use of comparisons with other people: “I am more intelligent than…,” “I am more spiritual than…,” “I am richer than….”

Comparisons are a strong indicator of identity stories.

#3: Feeling Special

The purpose of Identity stories is to make us feel special (a sense of superiority and entitlement).

Identity stories make us feel that we are better–or, sometimes, worse in the case of victimhood (but still special)–than others in some way. We get to feel special.

#4: Judgment

Another tip for identifying stories is to look for judgment. Judgment can exist only if there is a story causing it, because we judge by comparing what happened with what “should have” or “could have” happened (according to a story). This means that judgment is a sign of an underlying story.

If a “good” man is killed in an accident, I may say, “That should not have happened.” I am making a judgment – a comparison of what actually happened versus what I believe should have happened according to a story. Judgment can exist only if there is a story behind it. In this case, my underlying story might be that “good men should not die in accidents.” Judgment in this case–what I believe “should have” happened–is an indicator of stories.

#5: Different Starting Points

One way to break down identity stories is to realize the following:

Everyone’s starting point is different. It makes no sense to compare ourselves in the present moment—our point of arrival—with others, since we each start from a different point of departure. For example, one person was born intelligent, another was not. The first became rich, the second remains poor. But that intelligence at birth was simply a matter of luck. So it makes no sense for the intelligent person who became rich to compare themselves with the poor person, because their starting points were different—one was intelligent, the other was not.

Comparing ourselves to others makes no sense. Why?

Because when we compare our current situation with the current situation of others, we are ignoring where we began.

For example, one person received a strong education early in life and now has a successful career. But another person received no education and is now unemployed.

Their starting points are a matter of chance. Thus it makes no sense to compare where these two people are right now, because they began from different and unequal starting points.

Comparison focuses on destinations. It does not account for the starting point, and the starting point is beyond our control.

#6 Luck

Luck determines our starting point, such as intelligence or initial wealth. There is no point in making comparisons based on different starting points, since those starting points are purely a matter of luck.

You have no influence over your starting point. It is luck.

When you recognize that something is luck, you’re a lot less likely to identify with it.

#7 Pride

One way to spot identity stories is to find what we take pride in.

Pride is usually seen as something that is always a good thing, such as the feeling after someone helps a person who is struggling.

But pride is not always a good thing, such as when we believe we are better than someone else.

Taking pride in something suggests that we have identified ourselves with that something (honesty, commitment, education….).

When we are proud of something, we usually identify ourselves with that something.

To identify with something means “transferring” our identity into that something (“I am honest,” “I am someone who makes an effort,” “I am educated,”…).

Taking pride in something is a sign that an identity story is present.

When we identify with what we take pride in, we would like others to do the same thing or act in the same way.

Whenever we notice ourselves taking pride in something, we can ask ourselves, what is the story we are telling ourselves.

#8 True identity (not ego)

Ego is what you believe you are.

We are that “something” that ultimately feels, as opposed to everything else.

If there were a distinction between “inside” and “outside,” everything (intelligence, memory, thoughts…) would be “outside,” except for that “something” that ultimately feels, which would be “inside.” Even if everything were a dream, there would still have to be a dreamer dreaming it. We are the dreamer.

We are that “something” that ultimately feels–excluding, for example, memory, thoughts, intelligence, and knowledge.

This “something” that ultimately feels is what we ultimately are. It is capable of having experiences. If we lack the capacity to have experiences, we don’t exist. A dreamer that cannot dream is not a dreamer.

Indeed, we could progressively strip away all “external” things (intelligence, thoughts, memory, ….) and we would still be ourselves, because that “something” that ultimately feels would remain.

Even if you were to lose all your memories, that “something” that ultimately feels would still exist because it can still experience/feel.

If someone were to have an accident and be left with total amnesia, losing all intelligence, that “something” that ultimately feels, would still remain.

This “something” that ultimately feels would retain continuity of feeling despite the elimination of all “external” things (memory, thoughts, intelligence…). If someone were to hit this person on the foot with a hammer, they would still be able to feel it despite having lost all other faculties (intelligence, memory, thoughts…).

In the case of the loss of things such as memory, thoughts, intelligence, and knowledge that “something” that ultimately feels will retain continuity of feeling.

Let’s say you have lost memory and intelligence.

If someone hits you in the foot with a hammer, you will still feel it.

The experience of the pain when you get hit with the hammer does not depend on memory and intelligence. Those faculties that we confuse with our true identity are not our true identity, because we can still feel without those faculties.

If someone else gets hit on the foot with a hammer, you will not feel it. The experience didn’t happen to you. It happened to someone else–some other “something” that ultimately feels, which is not you.

Anything that is not that “something” that ultimately feels is not “us,” because it can be removed without interrupting the continuity of feeling.

We do not know the nature of this “something” that ultimately feels. Maybe it is a place in the brain. Maybe it is the thing we call the “soul.” Maybe it’s something strange that we do not yet understand. Maybe it is part of a dream or a simulation. We do not know.

Anything that is not that “something” that ultimately feels can be removed without interrupting continuity of feeling.

Since we do not know the nature of that “something” that feels, there is no point in making comparisons, as these are usually based on parameters such as intelligence, memory, and so on (external parameters) that are not the “us,” that “us” which is unknowable.

We are comparing faculties and/or things such as status and wealth, believing they are our identity but in fact they are not–because they are unrelated to that “something” that ultimately feels.

When we compare faculties and things like status, we are not comparing that “something” that ultimately feels with another “something” that ultimately feels.

That “something” that ultimately feels is the continuity of the feeling of existence and the ability to experience/feel.

You don’t have to be intelligent to feel something. You don’t have to have memories. You just feel because you are that “something” that ultimately feels.

Let’s do a mental experiment. Let’s say that a machine creates a clone of you–a complete copy of every atom that is you, so that there is an identical twin of you.

Now, let’s imagine that someone hits the clone with a hammer.

Do you think you will feel the pain if someone hits the clone with a hammer?

Most people would say no.

But that doesn’t make sense if you believe in pure materialism–if you believe that everything is matter. If the clone is an exact copy, atom by atom, there is no original and no copy. They are identical. There is no way to distinguish between them, unless you keep one in, say, a specific box to indicate it is the original or the copy.

Yet in the case of the mental experiment, most people would agree that you will not feel the pain when the clone is hit.

Agreeing that you will not feel the pain when the clone is hit implies that you believe in some sort of immaterial identity, like a soul that is not made of atoms. The reason you do not feel the pain when the clone is hit is that the immaterial “something” that ultimately feels did not get copied.